never doom always bloom

Rule #1: never outline a plan.
Rule #2: pineapple on pizza is settled bloomer law. The matter is closed.
Rule #3: bring enough sloppy dip for the table.
Rule #4: if it's going to rain, let it water something.

Doom to Bloom

Bring us your doom. We will bloom it.

doom The timeline is a dumpster fire.

bloom Lotuses grow out of mud. Scroll on, little flower.
doom It's going to rain all week.

bloom Free watering for everything in the pond.
doom It's too hot to function.

bloom Perfect pizza-oven weather. The pineapple stands ready.
doom The economy is cooked.

bloom Then we eat. The Kitchen is open.
doom The vibes are off.

bloom Vibes are seasonal. It is currently bloom season.
doom It's Monday again.

bloom Six whole days until the next one. Generous, honestly.
doom This group chat has 600 people and nobody reads the pinned message.

bloom 600 people, no org chart, still here. That's not a chat. That's a garden.
doom Nothing ever changes.

bloom The lotus opens every morning anyway. Same flower, new day.

Open late. Open early. Mostly open.

house special

Pineapple, ham, and the remaining mass of the solar system, rearranged into a crust that thinks about you. Serves everyone, eventually.

ask your server

Mozzarella sticks with sloppy dip: Structurally unsound. Emotionally essential.
Extra sloppy dip market price: You will want it. You always want it.
Nuggets: Shaped like optimism. Ten to an order, more if you're having a week.
Tiramisu: Literally means "pick me up." It does.
Tofu-soylent, for purists: Beige. Efficient. Somehow at peace.

This list is intentionally incomplete.